


After Effects

by ParkerCat



Series: Reactions [2]
Category: Thunderbirds
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-13
Updated: 2020-03-13
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:15:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23133013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ParkerCat/pseuds/ParkerCat
Series: Reactions [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1662778
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	After Effects

Scott slumped on his bed and angrily threw his tie in the corner, as if it had been the cause of his bad day. It hadn’t of course, but sometimes the self-control he fought so constantly to maintain in front of his family meant that the only way to feel better was to take things out on inanimate objects. It had been 3 months since their father had gone missing but it was only today that the reality that he wasn’t coming back had truly hit home. The idea of a memorial service wasn’t Scott’s but once it had been mentioned it was impossible to ignore and so he had found himself caught up in helping to plan and organise something he really, deeply didn’t want any part of. He had felt that because he had been the one to make the call to end the search and restart operations he was unable to argue about the logic of having a service for someone they didn’t know for definite was gone. Thinking back on it later, he realised that it wasn’t so much that he wasn’t sure about the outcome of the explosion of the Zero X, it was that he really didn’t want to be as certain as he was. And so here they all were, home again after the service and officially starting their lives with no parents to guide them.

He was exhausted after the day. It had been emotionally draining on all of them and they had all been keen to retreat back home afterwards to regroup as a family so he had flown them back to the island despite the fact that it would be nearly morning before they landed. Alan had slept most of the way home and Scott had scooped him up in his arms, carrying him up from the hangar just as his father had before him before carefully placing his baby brother in bed and sitting with him until he was sure that he was fast asleep once more. His already broken heart ached for the kid – only eleven years old and already an orphan. Adding to Scott’s worries was how on earth he was supposed to bring up his brother in a way that would make his dad proud. It was yet another thing on the seemingly never-ending list of unexpected responsibilities that had heaped themselves on his shoulders over the past 12 weeks which he was trying very hard not to think about.

Coming back to himself and shaking his head slightly to derail his thoughts from a track that he knew would end with him breaking down, he quickly decided that a run to clear his thoughts was exactly what he needed. Despite the late hour, he wasn’t ready for bed and he knew that even if he did go now he would just lie awake again as he had almost every other night since the accident. Throwing on some old clothes, he padded quietly out into the corridor, listening at Alan and Gordon’s doors to make sure that at least his two new charges were sleeping even if their older brothers were not yet. Without being told, he knew that John had retreated to his observatory as soon as they landed, chasing his beloved stars as the sky started to brighten from the inky black of night to the first blues of morning and Scott was certain that if he looked he would find him sleeping there again rather than in his bed, not to awaken until late in the morning. Grandma and Kayo were in their rooms, their doors both shut and with no light or sound coming from either. Virgil had disappeared, most likely to his studio after making sure 16-year-old Gordon was safely asleep for what was left of the night. Checking the whereabouts of what was left of his family had become habit for the eldest and he had found himself unable to even attempt sleep until he knew everyone was safe.

Without paying attention to where he was going, Scott’s feet took him through the house on a well-worn route. With his thoughts otherwise engaged on the events of the day, when he finally reached his destination and looked up he was surprised to find himself not outside on his favourite trail but in the hangar, staring at his little private jet – a smart little two-seater that he had bought with his father not long before, with the intention of using it to teach his youngest brothers to fly when the time came. Unable to resist the lure of the sky, he pulled on his flight suit and turned, catching sight of his dad’s personal jet sitting lonely and unused in its usual corner. He’d been studiously avoiding that side of the hangar for the last 3 months and seeing it forcefully rammed the truth home, sending a sharp stab through his chest. He faltered for a moment, suddenly unsure of himself before regaining control of his thoughts and, choosing to block reality out once more, he walked purposefully over to his plane and climbed in. The pre-flight checks centred and calmed him although the memory of his dad showing him how to do them when he first started flying all those years ago flashed into his mind, sending a second stabbing pain through his chest that he did his best to ignore as he started the engines and taxied out of the hangar.

“Scott…?” suddenly came Virgil’s concerned voice over the comms, no doubt alerted to his brother’s actions by the alarm that sounded in the house whenever the hangar door opened and jolting Scott out of his reverie.

“It’s OK, I’m just taking her up for a bit. I’m not going anywhere” Scott soothed. “I just need a bit of space after today.”

“OK then. Make sure you take it easy and don’t go too far. You’re clear for take-off” Virgil advised, knowing his tightly wound older brother’s need to escape for a while perhaps better than anyone.

Scott breathed a sigh of relief as the jet climbed effortlessly into the deep blue of the early morning. His natural habitat was the sky, as was the ocean for Gordon or the stars for John. For as long as he could remember he had longed to be airborne and as soon as he had that first taste of flight he felt most comfortable and relaxed amongst the clouds. It had been a special bond between father and son over the years and had informed every decision he had made, from what he studied at school to joining the air force to eventually leaving that dream behind to help form International Rescue. It was his place of solace and solitude, where he had worked out the answers to many of life’s problems and where he knew he would eventually find the calm that he so desperately needed.

However, it was anger that took over as Scott climbed above the clouds, and he tested the limits of the jet again and again, throwing it into steep climbs, dives and rolls. It had been there for 3 months but this was the first time he allowed himself to truly feel the bubbling hatred he felt, not just for the Hood but also for whatever idiot it was that built the Zero X in the first place and for the GDF for not being able to do their jobs and keeping the Hood from trying to steal something he so obviously would want. He seethed silently, anger masking his knowledge that every single aircraft had to go through the same procedures and that both he and his father had tested dozens of prototypes in their careers, pushing them beyond their limits with no serious incidents to report. The only difference here was that this was the one that took his dad away from him. Without warning, the anger he felt suddenly evaporated leaving him breathless and vulnerable enough that when the first wave of grief hit he was powerless to fight it. The defences against it that he’d fought so hard to erect since the accident crumbled under the onslaught and he felt the tears start to fall. Slowly at first, then faster and faster until his vision blurred and he had to take a hand off the controls to wipe them away in a futile gesture as more and more took their place. And how he wished the pain in his chest would go away – that one which seemed to simultaneously stab and ache. It had been bothering him on and off all day but now it seemed to choke him as he relinquished the aircraft to the autopilot and sobbed into his hands, gulping for air in between waves of grief he felt powerless to stop. He would be lying if he said that it was the first time he had broken down and cried for his father but it he had never allowed the desolation of his loss to overcome him so completely since that first day.

Way down below, Virgil sighed as he heard his biggest brother fall apart over the open comm line. He had watched with growing unease as the craft had been thrown around with increasing abandon, but as it levelled off and started circling above the island he sat back and allowed himself to relax slightly, despite his brother’s obvious distress. He knew Scott hadn’t given himself the time to grieve that he desperately needed; as usual, he’d thrown himself into making sure that everyone else was coping, burying his own emotions deep down where he didn’t have to deal with them until they became too much to bear and he ended up sobbing at 30,000 feet. He could well imagine what was going through his brother’s head as the very same thoughts had occupied his mind noisily and incessantly since the accident but however much he could empathise, the reality was that Scott had not simply lost his father. In one fell swoop, he had also gained so much responsibility that the younger man had to admit he was worried that what he was hearing was him cracking under the pressure of suddenly being the head of the family as well as being legally in charge of two businesses and two younger brothers, one of whom was Gordon. Virgil allowed himself a brief smile at that thought – Scott was going to go so grey, so quickly. Knowing that Scott would immediately push his own feelings away if he knew anyone was witness to his distress, he quietly muted his end of the comms channel so as not to disturb his brother, and sat back, continuing to monitor the flightpath. He had no idea how long Scott intended to fly for but he was damn sure he was going to give him the time he needed to get everything out his system without being interrupted. He just hoped that he would come back down of his own accord as he really didn’t want to have to try plucking him out of the sky in Two. Just as he was about to turn the open channel off he heard a small voice over the radio, nearly indecipherable from the sobs.

“I promise dad - I’ll keep them all safe for you. I’ll make you proud” Scott almost whispered, unaware that anyone could be listening in. And at that moment, Virgil knew that his role was going to be keeping his big brother safe, no matter what that entailed.

Slowly, the pain in Scott’s chest started to fade in its intensity and the tears that had threatened to completely overwhelm him slowed to a trickle. The sun’s first rays began to peek over the horizon, bathing the cockpit in a golden light and gently bringing the broken, weary man within back to reality. Taking control of the plane again he stifled a yawn and realised how tired he suddenly was. He had no idea how long he’d been circling his island home and he really, really wanted to be in his bed. Rubbing his eyes, he brought the plane around, in his haste losing altitude perhaps faster than he usually would and landed neatly, taxiing into the hangar and, ever the military man, quickly running through the post flight checks. Catching sight of himself reflected in the fuselage, he shuddered at the deep black rings circling his red, puffy eyes. Keen to not meet any stray brothers who would inevitably try to help, he took the less used service route up from the hangar to the main house and skirted around the main living area. Creeping as quietly as he could into his bedroom, he collapsed onto his bed still in his flight suit and was asleep instantly. Later that morning, Virgil smiled to himself as he checked on his still sleeping brother, relieved that he had finally found the release he needed and knowing that he would always be there to support him, whether he knew it or not.


End file.
